22 July 2009

Dad's Rememberance Video

Well! I'm not terribly bright! I just now found the function to publish my little memorial video to my computer - hence creating a file can easily share with people!! If I had found this function earlier, I could have added this video to my previous blog - where it would have fit in better!

Oh well, here it is now. And in a way, it may be somewhat appropriate that it has it's own post?


I love you dad, and a I had a lot of laughs making this..... I think you would have too.


P.S. A big thanks to Melinda (Bowman) Brock... my best friend and " 'nuther sister". Her help with the DVD program was SO SO useful!!!! xxxx

15 July 2009

This beers for you - Dad

It's 14 July.... Oops, I'm in America.... Lets try again.


It's July 14, at 2:20 pm. I am sitting in my parent's recliner and have just started watching an episode of "Doctor Who". I got dad hooked on the show when I lived here 14+ months ago. This episode is one that dad recorded on 27 June. 2 days after he was in the hospital and on a ventilator.... this fact (which I just looked up) brings tears to my eyes - guess he liked the show enough to put it on auto record......


As I type/watch the show - I drink a beer. It's not dad's beer - those aren't cold - but at least it's not a bud light! Dad was NOT a fan of bud light! I know I know - it's a bit early for beer, but, really, it just seemed appropriate..... Given that I am trying to avoid falling apart over my dad's abscence by watching a show dad enjoyed.


Yes - Dad is gone. On July 6 my mom, sister, and I made the decision to remove dad's venilator tube. The doctors had taken him off sedation and dad was quite awake; making it clear that he was uncomfortable and wanted the tube removed. With many tears, and surrounded by friends and family, my father - Rick Dohner - passed away 4 hours after removing the ventilator :(


His obituary can be found at: http://www.flahifffuneralchapel.com/index.cfm


We held a viewing on July 9th, where many friends and family came to say goodbye and tell us, his family, some stories. On July 10th, we held a simple memorial. It was short (about 45 minutes) and, as we expected, brought a packed house; there were so many people that loved dad and his upbeat nature. We ended the memorial on a fun note to celebrate his life - per dad's written request, we ended the service with the song "Joy to the World" (aka, "Jeremiah was a Bullfrog"). My best friend (dad's 3rd daughter) and I put a montage of photographs together to this song, creating a funny account of the life and times of Rick Dohner.


The memorial was followed by a Dohner style wake. My mom's company took responsiblity for providing ALL of the food and beers. We had many friends and relatives attend our food laden wake, to laugh at stories of dad and give support to us "Dohner Girls". It was a good time of remembering and having some laughs. The evening ended with my cousins jumping a dirt bike and running around on ATVs in the empty field. I got a ride with my cousin on the borrowed bike and we outran a random guy cruising around the streets. I was having a good old time laughing about our ride, when one of my neighbors boys dumped water all over me!!!! Well, that wasn't going to stand - so I chased him around, eventually pegging him with the hose. It really was a good time - despite the reasons for our get together.




And, so it is - with very great sadness, I again say good bye to my father. I type this blog as a way of letting all know what has happened, but also as a way of posting great pictures of my father..... and friend.


The TV and the beer have worked - I am far less nauseus and emotional. Maybe I can actually get around to doing some of my errands now .... well, after a few hours of letting the beer get me back to driving quality.... hmmm, I wonder what else dad recorded ;-)







P.S.... I must give many thanks to all those that have sent their support/prayers our way. I have to give props to my Cunderdin employers too. If it hadn't been for their help (lett ing me use their phones and internet on my work time to plan my flight out of OZ, and finding me a ride to the airport), I woudldn't have arrived at the hospital in time for my dad to recognize me and nod his agreement that he was glad I was there.

01 July 2009

Changing Hemispheres

When I last left you, I was heading to Perth. I caught a ride with a local, Peter – a panel beater by trade, though he doesn’t actually enjoy working with cars much. He’s a nice guy that comes in fairly frequently for a beer in the afternoons and is always good for a chat when the pub is quiet. His brother, Chris, is even more of an afternoon regular – always there for a few middies, or handles, (285 mls of beer) of Swan Draught. He is a good guy to have a yak with while working, though Theresa and I both agree that he talks much too quietly! We both struggle to hear him and usually have to ask “what?” But Chris generally has interesting stories about his travels within Australia and overseas – generally Indonesia. Chris was flying to Austria to visit his daughter, so Peter was heading into Perth on Sunday (21 June) anyway. It also happened that Peter was spending the night with friends, so he wouldn’t be returning to Cunderdin until Monday. MINT!!! It worked out perfectly for my days off!

Despite having gotten up early (I had even walked up the hill before my 10am pick up!), I was feeling very tired by the time we had driven much out of Cunderdin. I had seen the country over to Northam – crop fields and bushland of scraggly gum trees – but everything after Northam was new. It seemed so different from the view on the train too – I suppose that’s because there was a ribbon of highway with cars on it, rather than just straight scrub land. Also, I was able to see more of the Darling Range from the car than from the train. On the train the whole trip felt rather flat, but the train also seemed to travel below the level of the earth – giving a view of only red banks of dirt that could obscure any kind of scenic vista. So it was really quite neat to see how hilly the terrain got west of Northam. After all the open cropland views I was really quite surprised to see the rolling hills covered in tall, thick vegetation!

We passed through Mundering, the beginning of “The golden pipeline” – a water pipeline that runs all the way to the gold fields of Kalgoorlie (4-5 hours east of Cunderdin). This pipeline runs through Cunderdin, I keep meaning to get to the Cunderdin museum and learn more about the pipeline and the area. I should get some good pictures and lots of information for another blog after that museum trip…..

After dropping Chris at the international airport, Peter drove me into Freemantle – south of Perth. He gave me a small little tour, taking me past the river that was far less populated when he was a kid and worth far, far less money too! We drove over the bridge that he and his brothers had jumped off of as kids – where one guy (unrelated) mis-timed his jump and landed in a small wooden dinghy (yes, the boat sunk!). I heard many stories of youth spent catching fish, seafood, and swimming in this river. Peter accompanied me into “Little Creatures”, a pub/brewery on the water. It was incredibly crowded – definitely a happening kind of place. I bought Peter a pint of beer in thanks for the ride and we stood at the bar – seeing no open tables and wanting to be visible when Becks and her boyfriend arrived.

Becks is a girl that responded to my Gumtree ad regarding a travel partner up north (Gumtree being an online community/posting forum). I placed this ad hoping to find a cheaper travel alternative to Coral Bay and possibly Broome than the tourist bus. Becks was able to find me at the pub based on texts about my location and dress. She and her boyfriend, Adam (Ad), are Brits on working holiday. They had traveled NZ for 3 months in a van prior to coming over to OZ! Peter had to leave shortly after Becks and Ad arrived – having only been able to find a 15 minute parking spot (but it was free!). I followed Becks around while she found a table from which she could order hot chocolates. We sat outside in the shade – so I put my sweater (jumper) and hat back on! We all had a good yak about NZ and our respective lives and adventure. Somehow Becks finally got a waiter to come over and take our order, Ad paid for my cider (brewed on location by “Mel”!) before I could protest. That was very nice of him! Finally, we got down to discussing a bit of our plans to go north. Ad was working as an environmental consultant and would not be able to accompany Becks on her school holidays – she is teaching kids, teenagers I believe. After finishing our drinks we went and had a look at their new (well, they’d only had it for 3 weeks) little car. Becks really didn’t seem to have much faith (or knowledge about) it’s ability to go far north, which was disappointing. They just hadn’t had it long enough to know how it behaved. In the end, we agreed to keep in touch, but I think we were both unsure about traveling together.

Becks and Ad left to go for a bike ride, I wandered about town having a look and trying to find a hostel. Eventually, I found “The Old Firestation Backpackers”. Yep, the hostel is in an old fire station, with the new fire station right next door (as I found out the next day! LOL – though there were no sirens in the middle of the night or that I ever heard). The sign outside the door said “free 24 hour internet”! I found that for $26 I could spend the night in a 14 bed dorm room, or for $28 I could spend the night in a 4 bed, girls only dorm room….. Yeah, $2 was well worth semi-privateness! Yikes, who puts 14 people in one room!!! Well, the girls dorm was actually located in a “girls only” area!! Yep, we had our own TV lounge, kitchen, bathrooms, showers, everything! We even had a private “stairway to heaven” entrance if we wanted! It was really quite cool – I think there were 3 or 4 dorm rooms in the area? The area was right next to the hostel common area – with 4 free computers and an area to plug in a laptop (though the sign said laptop use was restricted to between midnight and 11am! I’m not sure why, but I didn’t want to get in trouble). There was also a large open kitchen with lockers and cooking area, a large dining area, and a very big TV with quite a few couches (though people still lounged about at night taking up 2 or 3 spots on the couch – but that will happen). Also – the hostel is set above an Indian restaurant, but backpackers can go to the back door of the restaurant and get half priced meals!!!! Oh – if only I had had the chance!!!

After settling my stuff in my room, I headed back into the city. I took pictures of “The Round House”, an old gaol on the coast, as well as some of the buildings and streets (one parking lot was obviously built where a building once stood – as one wall of the building still fronted the street!). Fremantle (AKA Freo), has a very old time feel to it, particularly when you start nearing the prison. There are old stone/brick walls and buildings all over the town. I’m not sure if some of the walls are replicas to tie into the history of the place, but it’s cool none the less. I took pictures of the prison but did not bother with the tour – even though I might have been able to go into the tunnels under the prison. I was really hoping that I could do a nighttime tour “torchlight” tour (torch = flashlight), as the prison is supposed to by haunted!!!! Unfortunately, they only offer these tours on Wednesday and Friday nights, at 7:30pm :( So, I headed back into town. I took some pictures of an old church before working my way back to the Fremantle markets. Wow – Sunday night is definitely the time to hit these weekend markets. It was nearing 5pm, closing time, so the fruit was being sold at pretty cheap bargain prices. People were leaving the markets loaded with veggies and fruit! No, I didn’t buy any. I should have bought some bananas or something, but I just couldn’t be bothered with the crowd or the prices. Instead, I wandered about and purchased an “almond tart” at half price. I must admit, I was hoping for something a bit sweeter and creamier, but the tart was subtly flavored and perfect for making one savor the flavor. It came close to hitting the spot I’d been craving – ever since reading about Italian pastries in my “Eat, Pray, Love” book (reviewed in last blog). I went back into the market and bought a few more sugary treats – organic chocolates and lollies (chewy candy).

I ate a few of my chocolate covered treats (I was disappointed the raspberries turned out to be raspberry chew candy instead of real raspberries) as I walked back to the sea. I returned to the “Round House” and enjoyed the view of the rain clouds over the ocean with a slight pinking of sunset. I was not in the right position to get a shot of the sun brightening a perfect spot of weather on the horizon, but I went for a walk out to the lighthouse anyway. I walked on the rocks between the road and the ocean and finally realized that the bright orange things flopping on the rocks weren’t some strange stranded shrimp – they were the claws of crabs! Ha ha ha. The small crabs were a rusty brown color with bright orange legs. They were very picturesque, though the light levels weren’t to conducive to high quality pictures off zoom. By the time I reached the green lighthouse flanking the mouth of the Swan River, the sunset had mostly faded. I took some pictures anyway and headed back towards the hostel.

Back at the fire station (yes, they do still have the pole – though I didn’t see it. Apparently they open it up to use on Christmas Eve), I was able to snake a computer for a bit over an hour (yes, a bit greedy – but who cares!). I chatted on FaceBook (FB) with Dave and checked my e-mails. Dave was dying to know how my meeting with Becks had gone, so I told him and we chatted out some of my options. I wasn’t terribly hungry so I decided to try having a beer somewhere before ordering a vegetarian curry from downstairs. I wandered around town for ages trying to find a bar I wanted to go into. The places were either WAY to full to feel comfortable alone (particularly back at Little Creatures) or were so empty that going in solo would mean you’d end up drinking with yourself too! In the end I decided to try the only venue that had live music audible from the street – and I do mean AUDIBLE. I really didn’t think I would enjoy the band, but figured it would give me something to watch while I blended with a crowd. Surprisingly, the music grew on me – of course, it helped that it actually sounded 50 times better from inside the venue than from down on the street! There were no beers on tap, so I had a glass of wine (my first in OZ). I wasn’t even watching the band for more than 5 minutes when a guy started talking to me. He was nice enough so we had a chat on the balcony. He told me about a venue across the street with bands. I was somewhat torn between leaving this music I was finding interesting and going somewhere with music I might not like but with beer on tap.

I opted for the beer and found GREAT music. Unfortunately we arrived just at the end of the set :( The band following was decent, though not as original. I had a good time while I talked with Daniel – an aerospace engineer from Brisbane living in Perth for a 2 year job contract (yes, designing rockets and such!). We took turns buying the 3 rounds of beer we drank while listening to the music, talking, and watching racecars on the telly. I greatly enjoyed the “Beez Neez” off the tap – we sell it in bottles at the pub and I’d wondered about it. However, the “Redback” wheat beer was horrid! I actually ended up drinking most of Daniels just so we could move on to the next round and drink something decent! LOL I must admit, it was my idea to try to the “Redback”, we sell it in bottles at the pub also (well, I’ve never actually SOLD any – now I know why). My vote for the “Fat Yak” was vetoed after my poor “Redback” judgment, and Daniel delivered a lovely, refreshing , very beer flavored (no nasty aftertaste) “Pure Blonde” from the tap. I’m sure Daniel thought I was flirting with him by the way I watched him at the bar as he ordered the “Pure Blonde”. I’m sure it never occurred to him that I would be watching him – and particularly his hands – so attentively so that I would notice if he attempted to spike my drink! Yes – I didn’t put this practice past him. He seemed like a very good guy, but that’s no reason for a girl (particularly a girl alone) to be irresponsible! If the bar had actually been crowded to the point of my not being able to see him or his hands, well, I would have just accompanied him to the bar for my beer. His shout doesn’t mean he has to actually touch the glass! Ha ha – It was all good though. We even ended up talking about our respective partners – my David and his girl in Brisbane. I don’t remember why we went for a walk looking for another bar – I think Daniel wanted to try the Irish pub he’d never been in. But it was dark and closed and when we returned to where we started we found that joint to be close too. It was the Sunday witching out – 10pm! LOL Daniel and I said goodbye on the street and went our respective ways. He to his house, dog, piano, scotch fillets, and fridge full of “Beez Neez”; me to my fire station and possible curry…. Well, actually I ended up eating a Peanut Butter and Jam sandwich while watching the hostel movie (“Payback” with Mel Gibson – love it!). I had missed the restaurant!!!! Super bummer :(

Monday, 22 June was far from exciting. I was up very early and walked about town. I ended up wishing I’d grabbed my camera for the walk – I came across a very impressive, old church; arches and all!! After checking out of my hostel, I met Peter at 8:30 outside the “E Shed Markets” – an old shed off the Swan River that I assume used to be used for freight at the nearby docks. The drive back to Cunderdin took us from grey overhanging clouds to blue sky and sun. Unfortunately, the sun doesn’t do much to heat our house, and the warmth of the drive was sucked out of me as soon as I dropped my things in my back bed room. I spent the rest of the day lounging about in a sun beam and typing e-mails to my parents and Dave.

Since then – life has been typical Cunderdin! I’ve been getting up fairly early and sometimes doing walks and stretches. Karen (our co-manager, cook, and co-bar maid) brought her son’s oil heater over after I mentioned the cold. She also put up one set of curtains in the front lounge and found how dirty our heater’s filters were – massively! So, our house is a bit more comfortable since that visit – our back lounge still needs curtains to prevent loss out of our windows and sliding door (and this is where the main heater is set too!), but with the oil heater in the hall by our bedrooms, I don’t feel like I’m walking into a freezer when I go to bed anymore!

Oh – and on Monday I e-mailed Becks. I told her that I was willing to give our trip up north a go if she was. I had my reservations but figured it could work. I had asked her to text me if she didn’t want to go with me, otherwise send an e-mail and we could plan. Well, I received a text on Tuesday night from someone else that had seen my Gumtree ad. I asked them to e-mail me and told them I might be sorted. So, on Wednesday I got online hoping to find the e-mail from this new contact, but found one from Becks instead. She decided we were on different agendas and opted for not traveling together. I must say I was slightly disappointed (nobody likes rejection), but also quite relieved (everyone that asked about our meeting, when I returned to Cunderdin, could tell I was less than enthused). I was also slightly annoyed that she hadn’t texted me as requested, but at least I was now free to pursue this other Gumtree possibility – a 4WD vehicle going far, far north. I texted him again and said I was definitely interested!

Today – as I type this (not when I post it) - is Friday, 26 June. I went into work early yesterday and helped with cleaning the rooms – as we had booked out all but one of our 16 rooms to let. My going in early yesterday meant that I get all morning and afternoon off today!!! I don’t go in until 6! Which is lovely, as I am right in the middle of my 7 day shift! I haven’t done much today; I didn’t walk up the hill, but I did walk around 2 blocks. LOL! Despite my going to bed at 3am – Theresa and I stayed up talking and listening to music after closing the bar at an early 10pm – I was actually up by 9!

Yesterday could have been a sad evening for me. While Dave had sent me a text at noon, I didn’t get it until near 4; I was at home with no reception. The text I got told me that my dad was in the hospital – his lungs were bleeding and he was on a respirator! My first reaction was to cry! I didn’t go hysterical, but I definitely had tears welling up. I turned right around (I was on my way to the Pitstop Diner for internet acces) and headed back to the house to find mom’s cell phone number. I had just put credit on my phone, so I rang Dave and we had real brief conversation. This kept me from thinking too hard and stopped me from crying. I soon realized that even if I could find mom’s number (which I found out later was actually already on my phone!), it would be near 2am her time.

So, I headed back down to the diner and decided to proceed with my internet before work. I read the e-mail mom had sent Dave, it gave no new information – Dave had pretty much texted me word for word. I also sent an e-mail to my mom, though not the one I had written that day – regarding such frivolous thoughts on her upcoming, yet far away visit. I also received the e-mail from my Gumtree ad responder– a 36 year old Aussie guy on a 2 month vacation from his job in Perth. I e-mailed him back and we’ll see how it goes. I’m not holding out hopes, though a 4wd vehicle would be ideal. I would end up flying out of Broome back to Perth to meet Dave – but that was the plan if I took the EZ rider bus tour anyway! So, hopefully Phil and I will talk via phone sometime to see how we get on. Would be nice to meet him more than a day before he plans to head off! LOL. I’m not worried though – what ever happens, happens. I can always get a bus up to Coral Bay and my whale sharks (I just cross my fingers and toes that the sharks are still around). Anyhow – while I was doing this e-mailing I was also chatting to Dave on FB. I was a bit worried about my Dad when I first got online, but by the end of my session I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could do to help my dad – except send out good thoughts and vibes (an idea touched on in my “Eat, Pray, Love” book….. ;-) So – I opted for not worrying at all; I decided this was more of a negative energy as it tends to dwell on the bad possibilities of the future. Instead, I went to work and had a good night.

That’s not to say that I wasn’t thinking of my dad. In fact, he was on my mind most all night. I told my boss, Brian, and my coworker, Theresa, about my dad’s hospitalization – but I didn’t stress out about it and hash it over in a conversation. I mean really – I have no information to hash out anyway. I was in a “wait and see” holding pattern. So, I went about smiling at the customers, exchanging light-hearted banter, and serving everyone. All of my actions had a fairly more serious feel to them – much like when I’m working tired or hungover and I take more care in counting correct change and pushing correct buttons, not wanting to screw something up in my fatigue. Instead of worrying and dwelling on my dad, I was paying attention to every detail of work, moving purposefully – even my voice sounded different to me, happy but serious too. When I did let my thoughts of dad come to the forefront they were never worried, “what if” thoughts. They were, “he will be fine” and “dad and mom are surrounded by love, they will be okay” thoughts. I knew that it was possible I might end up boarding a plane and flying home – but I also knew that wouldn’t happen. Though it sounded scary and serious (I mean – bleeding in your lungs!) the doctors would sort it out and, though his life will probably change (no more smoking?), he will recover.

Well – as I said. I got up at 9 this morning, woke up to a lovely text from Dave at 8:30 (best way to wake up!). I texted both my mom and sister – sending my love, support, and assurances that everything would be okay. Well, less than an hour later I had a text back from Kristi (my sister)------ “Good news. Dad is okay!” Such lovely words to read!!!!! Dad was surrounded by friends and family and doing well. I was so pleased that I hadn’t wasted my time or energy worrying needlessly and creating negative energy. What good news to hear. I can only trust, and believe, that dad will only continue to be okay.

This incident has begun to change my thoughts. It’s funny how quickly your life plans can change. First finding love with Dave, now dad in hospital. While I am still committed to moving back to NZ in January and living with Dave for another year (or two?), I don’t think I want to attend graduate school in NZ. I had been thinking about looking into programs and possibly applying, but - as mom pointed out - school in NZ would probably lead to a job in NZ, which would lead to a life in NZ. Dave has always known that I’d want to move back to “the states” someday. I’ve always known I’d want to be near family after my travels. Now I know that I don’t want to move back after my dad’s health is failing. I want to be nearby during the GOOD, healthy times as well as the hard, bad times. So – I think I’m going to look into graduate school in the states…… I’m thinking California. I like California – especially northern California (not that I’ve seen much of it! LOL)…… But – who knows. That’s still ages away!!!! My plans may change, yet again – and I may well end up in Florida, Hawai’i or - who knows where!!! As for Dave? I haven’t run this all by him, but I’m pretty sure he’ll be game ;-)

P.S. – It’s Sunday now, 28 June. I have received e-mails telling me dad is slowly getting better, but I have not heard what is actually wrong with him. I have also received e-mails full of support and prayers for my dad. Knowing he has so many people thinking of and loving him is really the only way I can let myself not feel guilty for continuing to live – and enjoy – life here while dad is ill there.

PPS.... Wednesday, 31 June - 5am. I am posting this blog from Caldwell Idaho. I sit in bed hoping mom has gone back to sleep and hoping I can get a few more hours sleep as well. This whole blog seems a bit frivolous for posting, when my dad is still in ICU (intensive care unit), but it's posted now and I can move on. Hopefully my next blog will have good information!